Balance

Balancing all the facets of life is so hard. In that struggle I have sorely neglected my Father. That's the equivalent of shooting myself in the foot... no... both feet. He is the One who has everything, is everything, and controls everything. Time with Him is desperately needed in these times because the longer apart, the harder it is to get back to where things were before. Thankfully, His storehouses of grace will never run dry - even though I should have depleted them long ago.

Motherhood

I keep getting "baby fever" on and off so I decided to actually think what motherhood will be like. I listened to some Driscoll sermons and just reflected on how different our lives would look. I came to the conclusion that "Christian" is hard, "wife" is crazy hard, so "mother" must be harder than those. I am content waiting now. :)

Homeowners

Derek and I just bought our first home and it has been an educational process to say the least. It has also been a lot of fun to dream together about things we are going to do together. Of course there's remodeling (perk of being married to a contractor), landscaping, interesting, ministering, loving, and living. Its fun. :)

Blogging

I have neglected this blog so much. I think I need to write long post about exciting things in life but that's not really the case at all. So much is happening right now in life and I want to write about it (the good, the bad, and the really ugly). So... this is my first SUPER short blog just to say I want to start blogging again. :)

aWtR: Bringing it Home

Derek and I had the wonderful opportunity to attend Family Life’s “A Weekend to Remember” (aWtR) this past weekend (my parents’ wedding gift to us) and the fruit already being produced from it is completely wonderful and blows my mind.  God is mighty to save, change, redeem, sanctify, reconcile, heal... the list goes on and on forever!  As a way to remember and be sure to apply the things I have learned from that getaway I plan to blog about separate sections of the conference.  Again, the purpose of this is for me to remember and apply what I learned – so please pray for me to honor God in obedience to Him and in submission to my husband.

Also, Derek bought a LOT of books for us that were promoted by aWtR.  Some of the books are directed towards men, some women, and some both.  I plan to blog about some of those books as well.

The More I Seek You

The more I seek You,
the more I find You.

The more I find You, 
the more I love You.

I wanna sit at Your feet
drink from the cup in Your hand.
Lay back against You and breath, 
hear Your heart beat.

This love is so deep, 
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming.

Without Jesus

Life is hard. It hurts. And sometimes it seems like it won't end. But Jesus is there. He is my strength, my Portion, my Deliverer. He is so wonderful to me.

Jesus makes things right with God on our behalf. I have peace with God through Jesus. That is wonderful. Bliss.

God is for me, not against me. God is for my joy, sanctification, salvation, suffering - whatever it takes to make me more like His Son. To bring me closer to Him. That is beautiful.

I can't imagine my life without Jesus.

God's Grace in Our Marriage

I am so thankful God blessed me with a husband who loves Him and me. Things have been pretty rough during these past few months of marriage and I can't do anything but boast in the Lord's grace for how He has been changing things lately. I have the wonderful privilege of watching God grow Derek in so many ways - the evidences of His grace in Derek are innumerable.

Derek has wonderfully used opportunities to shepherd my heart, point people who look at our marriage to Jesus, and to show the picture of Christ towards His bride. I am honored to be his wife.

Isaiah 30:18

"And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!" Isaiah 30:18 [Amplified]

I ran into this verse about a week ago and my heart just melted inside of me and I could hardly hold back my tears and joy. How good is our God! As I've been reading through the Bible the recurring theme is God's people turning away from Him and spitting in His face by worshipping false god - yet He sends a Redeemer when they turn back to Him and call for Him. Jesus is our eternal Redeemer and Savior.

God is waiting to be gracious to us. He is waiting to show you Himself. He is love. He is good.

All those years I ran from God, sinned against Him constantly, hated Him - He waited for me and pursued me until I turned to Him. He is wonderful to me, to all His children.

Day 2 of our Paint-by-Numbers

This painting is going to take so much longer than I thought. I can hardly believe all of the tiny sections. While we painted we listened to a few sermons by Mark Driscoll and John Piper. At present I cannot remember what they were about but I do remember that both Mark and John confessed their sin to the church in the areas they struggle. It was Piper's first Sunday back after his sabbatical. It was encouraging to hear that his marriage is having the same struggles ours is. Hopefully that means we aren't crazy! Ha! Well I don't have much time right now so here is the picture of mine at day 2. (I didn't get one of Derek's but will next time.)

Paint-by-Number

I watched Mona Lisa Smile the other day and it gave me the idea to do a paint-by-number with Derek for date night. Well... at least I thought it was a great idea. I don't think Derek was too thrilled though. Ha!

This is the one I got for Derek. (He picked it out over the phone with me but doesn't like it now because he said it has too much grass.)

This is the one I picked out because it's so colorful.

Here mine is at day one. : )

I have a really long way to go and am NOT artistic at all. This may be a challenge.

"Say Your Name" by: Bethany Dillon

I’m trying to find a moment with You
These days are speeding by
This ring gives me a new point of view
I’m a dealer in my time
And if I can make a confession
My time is torn between
The man who has won my affection
And the God who made me

Oh, it all looks different
But that doesn’t mean anything has changed

Still I reach for You....
When I am afraid....

And this breath that comes from You....
Helps me say Your name....

I look at the life of Anna
Your presence was her home
I look at the life of my mother
Praying on her back porch

One day very soon....
Face to face....
I’ll give an account of my time to You

"Who is This God" by: Alli Rogers

All the way down, all the way down to where I fell
I stare at the ground, blood that I have spilled
But just to feed me you bend all the way down
All the way down to where I fell

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that keeps me safe when I run
Safe when I’m young and foolish

Out of the dark, out of the dark that hides my face

I’m coming apart when you say my name
With ties of love you lead me out of the dark
Out of the dark that hides my face

Who is this God that loves me still?

This love that heals me when I am bound
When I am found and humble

With love you lead me
You bend to feed me
Taught me to walk
It was you all along

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that finds me when I am lost
Although it cost you everything

"Fireflies and Songs" by: Sarah Groves

Thirty years ago I was a little girl
Riding in the back seat of the car.
A woman sang 'You don't bring me flowers anymore.'
I felt the sadness in my little heart.

We're looking for the music
In the music box,
Tearing it to pieces,
Trying to find a song.

I was drawn to you in ways I can't explain.
I fought like crazy but I couldn't stay away.
Piled on expectations and lots of blame,
like we couldn't do it any other way.

We're looking for a firefly
Moving through the night,
Staring at that one place
Swear it never lights.

We're looking for the music
In the music box,
Tearing it to pieces,
Trying to find a song.

Were you surprised our hearts were not like ticking clocks?
The faces and hands easy to read.
We both wished 'if only in the land of Oz.'
And longed for things we'd never really need.

Now we're standing in the kitchen,
All pretense is gone.
You kiss me on the shoulder.
Fireflies and songs.

And it begins...

Well... I'm married now. It's weird... but cool. Absolutely everything about my life has changed from living with a man to having to buy toothpaste twice as often. It's an adjustment, to say the least. I thought I was prepared going into marriage... now I just laugh at myself. I think God gives us marriage to reveal the Gospel to us in a deeper way we would ordinarily miss. Also to give us a better understanding of how hopeless we are and that ONLY JESUS can heal us in our brokenness. Don't worry, I'm not going to go into deep life lessons of a married woman because it's only been a little over 3 months and I'm sure I know nothing compared to what I will in a year. (The thought almost frightens me, but not entirely.) However, here are a few things I have learned...


1) No matter how hard it is, resist the urge to run to your dad every time you are sad. That's your husband's place now.


2) Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT expect him to understand why you suddenly burst into tears out of the blue... It will end in more tears and learning that men don't read minds.


3) DO NOT NAG. Even if you think you aren't nagging... You probably are.


4) Strongly encourage him to have some time just to himself, it will payoff in the end. Promise.


5) When he farts, don't breathe through your mouth... VERY bad idea.